Watching opening day at Pineapple Hill. It’s Vin Scully’s last year, but his commentary can’t lay a glove on the comments from the two old ladies sitting next to me.
Re the white wine: “It drinks smooth, smoother than the whisky we had last night.”
Re the Padres pitcher: “He scratches his balls too much.”
Re Justin Turner’s mane of red hair: “That hippie needs a barber.”
Re sampler platter etiquette: “I’m double-dipping the ranch.”
Re Puig: “A free-swinging bum.”
Re the bartender who brings them another round: “Don’t tell anyone that we drink a lot.”
Re the guy on his phone [yours truly]: “This generation doesn’t know how to live, and they certainly don’t know how to party.”