Robot calling

The telemarketer’s dialogue is just a little too precise, and the pauses before her responses are just a little too long.

“Are you a robot?” I ask.

Then in the intervening silence, I
begin a rant about how the robots are taking over, not in a nefarious Skynet sort of way, but in a creeping “we’re here to help” sort of way, one which hinges on automated decision trees and chipper customer service.

“I’m not a robot!” the telemarketer declares. “Why do people always ask that?”

“I don’t know. I think you’re game is just a little too tight.”

“Ok. Well, do you want to save money on your internet, or do you want to waste my time?”

“Honestly?”

“Yes.”

“I want to waste your time,” I say. “But I wouldn’t say this call has been a total waste of time because while I don’t want to save money on my internet, I do think I’ve given you some constructive criticism that will help with your next call.”

“I think you’re right,” she says before hanging up.

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