Press one for $250,000

My phone rings with an offer: “You can get up to $250,000 cash advance for your small business if your press one NOW!”

Naturally, I press one without delay.

A second later, I’m talking to Josh.

Me: Is it true, you guys are going to give me $250,000?

Josh: Yes, but first I’d like to explain–

Me: Can I get the money NOW?

Josh: Well, first I need to explain–

Me: The message said press one to get the money NOW. I want it NOW. That’s a lot of money and I have big plans for it NOW. I’M JUST SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW! Josh, are you excited?

Josh: I can tell you’re excited. Now, I just have some questions–

Me: Josh, I have a question. When do I get my money?

Josh hangs up. But I’m not worried because something tells me my phone will ring again with another cash offer.

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