It was the Dukes, you pervert

Mortimer’s vet asks how he got his name.

“Trading Places,” I explain. “We named him after one of the Duke brothers who made the bet that set the story in motion.”

Typically, when I give the backstory on how our dog got his name, I get one of two responses. Most people give me a blank look because the film was before their time, which is a lame excuse. Others remember the film fondly, but ask why we named our dog after a racist old man who is obsessed with cornering the frozen concentrated orange juice market and orchestrating unethical nature versus nurture experiments.

As it turns out, Mortimer’s vet knows the movie well. Actually, he knows one scene quite well.

“Jamie Lee Curtis shows her breasts in that movie,” he says. “I hit pause so many times at that scene, I wore out the VHS copy. She had fantastic breasts back then, just magnificent.”

I’d like to say that I had the presence of mind to call the vet out for being such a creeper, but I came up empty. Mortimer, however, is always loaded – a fact he proved by whizzing on the vet’s hand.

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