How to succeed in business when you’re surrounded by morons

The man at the next table is in business to do business. Unfortunately, he is surrounded by “morons,” and this makes him angry.

“Justin,” he barks into his phone, “how do you tie your shoes in the morning? No, I really want to know how you do it, because if you can’t figure out how to solve this problem, I don’t know how you tie your shoes.”

The man falls silent, and perhaps Justin explains how he ties his shoes.

“You’re a problem solver, so solve the problem! What more do you need me to say, besides you’re useless? Absolutely useless.”

Again, the man falls silent, and perhaps Justin explains his utility.

“I’ve literally given you everything you need,” the man snarls. “There is no hope for you.”

But the man has it all wrong, because there is hope for Justin, who somehow manages to turn the whole conversation around.

“Well,” the man says in a calm voice. “I’m sorry that I am such a jerk. I apologize for what I said.”

I don’t know you, Justin. I don’t know how you tie your shoes; maybe you’re a crocs man. But I do know this: if you don’t list managing up as a skill on your resume, you are a moron.

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