How to name your goldfish

After some random Googling, I land on a page about naming your goldfish.

According to the article, “recent trends have started to show that many goldfish aficionados are beginninging [sic] to name their pets a little more creatively.”

The article goes on to make the following points:

1. Goldfish with human names are all the rage. If the goldfish is “scrawny,” call him Eugene. If he is “buff,” the author suggests Adonis.

2. Celebrity names are popular. A “prima donna goldfish” could be named Paris Hilton. A “rough and tumble goldfish” could be named Charles Bronson.

3. The name you give your goldfish says a lot about you. Example: “if the goldfish is named Greedo or Admiral Ackbar, you’ll know the owner is most likely a Star Wars fan.”

4. Goldfish live “quite a while… so a good name is important.” The author suggests Ace, whether or not you’re a KISS fan; Clyde is good, if your goldfish is a “geezer;” and Flim Flam is ideal for a goldfish who is “off his rocker.”

5. If you can’t come up with a name for your goldfish, try a baby name book. “There are literally thousands of possibilities.”

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