Everyone in LA is making a movie. EVERYONE

A woman stops me on the street and asks if I can help her and her friend make a video.

“Um… I don’t really want to be in a video.”

“We need you to shoot the video. It’ll just take a minute.”

She hands me her phone and proceeds to explain the scene. Her friend, a scruffy dude in a leather jacket, will play a “homeless guy.” She will dance “for a minute.”

“A whole minute?”

“Yes!”

That seems like a lot of screen time without much action, but who am I to question the director?

We’re about to roll, when her costar expresses a problem with casting.

“I think I should be a musician, not a homeless guy.”

They debate homeless guy or musician for a while. She says we should vote. I cast the deciding vote. Musician it is.

Action!

We open on a musician. He leans against a vacant storefront. Lots of attitude.

A woman enters the frame.

Woman: Are you homeless?

Musician: No! I am a musician.

Woman: I want to dance!

He takes out a harmonica, plays an upbeat tune.

She dances with the enthusiasm of a postal worker at the end of a long shift.

After 23 seconds, she yells cut.

“We’ve got to rethink the dancing,” she says. “I don’t have enough moves for a whole minute.”

They need a creative meeting. This could take a while and I have to go. But this is LA, so it’s a safe bet that another camera operator will walk by soon.

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