English 101 for Lyft drivers

I ask my Lyft driver how his day is going, but instead of answering that question he informs me that he does not speak English very well.

We drive in silence for a stretch.

Eventually, we stop at a light. A jogger passes us. The man is shirtless and his torso is thick with sweat. My driver points and says, “Too hot, too stupid.”

I agree that it’s a little warm in the valley for a midday run.

Later, when another car cuts us off, my driver points and says, “Big asshole.”

No argument there.

Finally, we arrive at my apartment.

“Home sweet home,” my driver says.

I thank him for the ride and tell him his English skills are a lot better than he thinks.

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