The coffee bar is nearly empty, except for a man and a woman drinking espressos.
He’s telling her about his business. Turns out he had a “brilliant idea,” so he hired these computer programmers.
“They’re all Russian,” he explains.
“Russian? Bad idea.”
“I know,” he says. “But the company is run by a Greek guy from Orange County, so I overlooked the Russian thing.”
Now, he starts talking about how the tech they built didn’t scale.
“It was perfect with fifty users, but with 10,000 users it breaks.”
“Nightmare,” she says.
“You don’t know the half of it.”
Now, he explains how he went through a “year of hell” with his Russian programmers and how the Greek from Orange County was born with a “silver spoon stuck up is ass,” so whenever he complained about the Russians, the guy was like, “…and this is my problem, how?”
Again, he reminds her that he is “not rich,” despite the fact that he has a million dollars of his own money tied up in this idea, which he upgrades from “brilliant” to “revolutionary.”
But he has another problem. The first lawyer he hired to write the contract was a “moron” and left out a bunch of stuff. The second lawyer he hired was “lazy.” So he explains how he finally found his third lawyer, who is “a killer,” but who costs him $100,000 a month.
“And I am not rich!” he reminds her.
“But you’re paying him each month?”
“Of course! I have to.”
And now, he explains how the Greek in Orange County says his Russian developers did a great job and how he’s demanding final payment, and how he said “no fucking way am I paying you assholes the rest of the money.”
So the Greek sued him. And his lawyer told him to hire a developer from Seattle — “not a Russian” — to audit the work.
“They screwed up everything!” he says. “The guy in Seattle used to work for Microsoft, so he knows what he’s talking about.”
“Everything was wrong?”
“Not one single thing was right,” he says. “So they’re suing me and I’m countersuing, and I’m in hell, and it’s costing me a fortune, and I am not rich.”
“That’s terrible,” she says.
“Yes. I don’t know what it is, but whenever I do something myself, it’s perfect. Seriously, it’s amazing. But as soon as I bring on other people, it always turns to shit.”
She nods sympathetically. He changes the subject.
“So listen,” he says. “Let’s talk about you coming to work for me.”