The telemarketer asks if I’m interested in new floors.
“Thank god you called,” I say. “I need new floors. Bad.”
“Great! Let me tell you about some of our options.”
“Ok, but we should probably talk about the old floors first,” I say.
“So… what I need to know is if the crew you send can pull up the old floor?”
“Oh yes, they can do that.”
“Ok, but here’s the thing. There’s like a lot of stuff on top of the floor.”
“Oh, that’s not problem.”
“But it’s like a lot. And it’s kind of messy. And it smells.”
“What is it?”
“In the living room, I’ve got the carcass of a triceratops.”
“Yeah. And it’s big and it’s smelly. So to be honest, there’s kind of a waste removal job that needs to get done first, and I’m looking for a vendor that can haul this triceratops carcass out of here and then put in a new floor.”
“Hmm… I don’t know if we do waste removal.”
“I understand. But it’s vital that whoever puts in these new floors is prepared to deal with this triceratops carcass, otherwise it just won’t work.”
“Well, I really want your business, sir. Can you stay on the line while I ask?”
She puts the phone aside and calls out to her coworkers. I hear the word “triceratops” followed by laughter. A moment later, she comes back on the line.
“Sir, I don’t believe you have a dinosaur in your living room.”
“What gave it away?”
“Sir, I’m going to hang up because you’re wasting my time.”
“Ok, but for the record, I’m going to hang up first for the exact same reason.”